The Entire World Conspires Against Ricky Romero

Last night, Blue Jays ace Ricky Romero found himself six outs away from the first Jays no-hitter since Dave Stieb and his sexy stache-mullet combo blanked the Indians in 1990.

And then the collective baseball gods rose up and said, "Nay."

Since I was raised Catholic and know that God works in mysterious ways, I'm not surprised that the baseball gods also subscribe to this doctrine, revealing their dastardly plans in reverse.

First, the man who ended the no-no bid was none other than Alex Rios, the former can't-miss-but-did-miss prospect who the Jays unceremoniously dumped on waivers, who crushed a mistake changeup from Romero into the left field bleachers (Hey, I thought he didn't give a fuck) for a 2-run homer.

Then, upon closer scrutiny of the guy on base for the Rios blast, it was shown that White Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski had duped home plate ump Tim McClelland into thinking he had been hit on the foot by Romero's pitch in the dirt, when clearly that was not the case.

Pierzynski is well known as one of the dirtier players in the game, but he got away with one despite his past history, which forced Romero to pitch from the stretch and may have served to rattle him somewhat.

And finally, no story of deception and sabotage would be complete without the "we got a man on the inside" angle, played in this case by new Jays starting catcher John Buck (What kind of name is "John Buck" anyway? He's gotta be a double agent).

Buck was discussing Romero's outing with pitching coach Bruce Walton (which is a no-no, pun not intended) when he glanced at the scoreboard.

"I kind of looked up there I was like, 'Oh my gosh, they don't have any hits,' " Buck said.

And all was lost.

Still, a superb outing from the kid, who clearly has the goods to be the best Jays lefty since Jimmy Key.

And uh, not to jinx it or anything (see what I did there?), but a 6-2 record for tops in the AL East? I'll take it!

(Just get me to the World Cup, Jays, that's all I ask...seriously.)