Saturday, June 23, 2012

The Schenn-Gustavsson Era In Toronto Is Over

Note: not an actual era.

The Leafs rid themselves of two players who failed to live up to lofty expectations on Saturday, trading Luke Schenn to Philadelphia for power forward James van Riemsdyk, and the rights to Jonas Gustavsson to the Jets for a conditional 7th round pick in next year's draft.

Schenn was a minus-23 in four seasons with Toronto and while he was mostly the stay-at-home defenseman type, he clearly regressed and should benefit from a change of scenery and playing with his brother Brayden in Philly.

It should be no surprise to anyone that Gustavsson didn't work out in Toronto, but not for the reasons you think.

Imagine you're a promising young goalie in Sweden who lost both your parents before you've even signed a deal. Then imagine the general manager of one of the biggest teams in professional sports calls you "the best goalie not in the NHL."

Then, on the first day of training camp, you've been found to have an irregular heartbeat and undergo surgery.

Now go out and play the toughest position in hockey in front of the most unforgiving and cruel fanbase in the league.

All of these things happened to "The Monster", and now he's off to Winnipeg. He deserved a lot better.

As for the Leafs' actual drafting on Saturday, they grabbed yet another defenseman - Etobicoke native Matthew Finn - 35th overall, to go along with Friday's selection of Morgan Rielly. He's related to former Leaf and current human pane of glass Carlo Colaiacovo, so you know, that should work out great.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

LaDainian Tomlinson Will Retire A Charger

LaDainian Tomlinson is a Charger again, for one more day.

LT will sign a one-day contract with San Diego on Monday, and then start the countdown to Canton.

Tomlinson is without question this generation's greatest running back; his career accomplishments will make him a sure-fire Hall of Famer.

Here's a taste of what LT did in his 11 years in the NFL:
  • He scored a record 31 touchdowns in his 2006 MVP season, including 28 rushing touchdowns.
  • He set or tied 28 team records during his nine-year stint in San Diego
  • He's the first player to ever score 15 or more touchdowns in six consecutive seasons
  • He's still the only RB to rush for over 1,000 yards and catch 100 passes in the same season 
  • He leaves the game ranked fifth all-time with 13,684 rushing yards and second in rushing touchdowns with 145. 
LaDainian Tomlinson was a fierce competitor and one of the most dynamic offensive players to ever play in the NFL.

Let's send him off, montage-style.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Jonathan Quick: Fuck Yeah!

So what do you do after you've won the Stanley Cup, the Conn Smythe Trophy and likely the Vezina Trophy?

Well, if you're LA Kings goalie Jonathan Quick, you get really, really drunk, and you drop not one, not two, but THREE F-bombs on live television.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Dadpost: Baby Fingernails

I'm starting to think that Hannah might be Wolverine.

Now before you get all Comic Book Guy on me, hear me out: they're both Canadian, they both don't do what you tell them to do, and they both possess incredible sharp claws.

And after Hannah sunk her fingers into my hand for the eleventy billionth time this morning, I think I might call Marvel to get a distribution deal done.

Oh sure, she might look all sweet and innocent, but just like our X-Man friend, those claws could cut through a man like a hot knife through butter.

I clip them every time we give her a bath, but that only serves to make them even more razor sharp. Even filing seems to sharpen them further.

Mohs Scale of Hardness might list fingernails as a 2.5, but that's clearly just a human average, because baby fingernails are somewhere around an 11.

I'm confident that Hannah's nails could scratch diamond, and would scratch adamantium if that actually existed.

If she ever learns to do the Berserker Barrage, we're all doomed.

Friday, June 08, 2012

Euro 2012 Day 1 Wrap: Greece Gets Another Bailout, And You Can't Show Any Weakness In Front Of The Russians

Well, that was certainly one hell of an opening to the 2012 European Championship.

On paper, Poland vs Greece looked to be one of the worst, if not the worst, opening match in tournament history.

On the pitch, it was...not that.

Two goals, one red card, two ludicrous yellow cards, one howler per keeper, one saved penalty, all in a match which could have featured exactly none of the above.

The Poles came out strong in front of their home crowd, which was to be expected, but the Greeks responded well and got two huge breaks from Polish keeper Wojciech Szczesny, first failing to clear a cross that led to the eventual tying marker, and then earning a straight red for a rash challenge that will leave him on the bench for Poland's next match.

Greece could have won were it not for a poor penalty take from captain Giorgos Karagounis, but given how badly they were outplayed early on, you won't hear too many complaints about the result.

Overall it was a much deserved sharing of points and a sign that both clubs are frisky and look to stand a chance of coming out of the group in second place.

I say second place with a purpose, because Russia has clearly shown they're the class of Group A.

The George Bush-haunting Russians blasted four past Petr Cech, two from 21-year-old phenom Alan Dzageov, who's already this tournament's Wayne Rooney, and is surely cashing the cheque to a top-flight international club for next season.

Dick Advocaat's side looks like a worthy challenger to whomever comes out of Group B's team deathmatch, which kicks off tomorrow with the Netherlands versus Denmark and Germany versus Portugal.