Monday, June 01, 2009

Of Course He Pitches For The Phillies

...with a name like Antonio Bastardo.

I am not making that up. That's his name.

This dude could only be a Phillie, or a Yankee, or maybe a Ranger.

He should wear a black mask and a cape to the mound...and they should play the Gypsy Kings version of Hotel California when he toes the rubber.

Anyway, yeah this Bastardo character is making his debut for the Phillies Tuesday night.

He's taking the rotation spot of known wife-beater Brett Myers, who has a hip issue and...wait a minute, a dude named Bastardo is replacing Brett Myers? Doesn't anyone else see what's going on here?


Brett Myers IS Antonio Bastardo! It's all a ploy to duck the law! He's on the lam from the fuzz!

You didn't fool me Myers, you sneaky domestic abuser, you!

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