NFL Sunday In 10 Photos

"Honestly? I have NO idea how we got here!"


That's it, kid, learn how to lead with your head, so one day you too can suffer a serious concussion just like your favourite Dolphins!


They should replace the William Penn statue on top of Philadelphia City Hall with one of Akers in this pose.


These douchebag Miami fans have #17 painted on their faces. #17 is Brandon London...the 5th wide receiver. No wonder you guys lost!


Bon Jovi approves of the hair though; even he couldn't get it that spiky back in the 80s.


Kendra Wilkinson, one of Hugh Hefner's former girlfriends, currently dating Eagles WR Hank Baskett. How could you possibly get with a girl after Hef fucked her? Talk about sloppy seconds.


Whoa...after Kendra, seeing this Mummer is like that scene in A Clockwork Orange.


This dude has to be the retarded son of one of the '72 Dolphins that won't stop reminding everyone they're the only team to go unbeaten.


*pointing to owner's box*

"See, Mr. Lurie? I'm not a useless husk of a coach!"


Sorry, Dolphins fans, there's always next year, when the bitter disappointment of seeing two other teams play for the Super Bowl in your own backyard will make 2008 seem like a dream season!

Cue the disco music...

San Diego Super Chargers,

San Diego Chargers!

San Diego Super Chargers,

San Diego Chargers!

Charge!

Ruh Roh

You never want to hear the words "detached tendon" and "pubic bone" in the same sentence.

With Antonio Gates also hobbled (again), that means the Chargers' top two offensive targets will be limited at best. And we all know how that goes for San Diego.

Despite all this I'm still optimistic...though I can't for the life of me figure out why. Perhaps last year has something to do with it.

Either way, I'm getting drunk while largely ignoring the Cards/Falcons game, because really, neither of these teams are getting past the next round.

Good luck to all your teams this weekend, especially if it's the Chargers.

Happy New Year!

*Fujitsu* Read my fax!

NFL Sunday Review in 10 Photos

The Bills reveal their commemorative Scott Norwood goal posts.


"Are we...did we just make...does this mean...the tie doesn't matter?"


There's way too much writing on the bags to make sense of any of it, but I think the take-home message is that the Jets eat cock.


"Kurt, I'll tell you now what I told you in '94 at Packers training camp...I'm NOT into it."


If the Ravens and Eagles meet in the Super Bowl...


...the fan death count will be in the thousands.


"Gardening, motherfucker! I love horticulture!"


The lineup for the 0-16 Post-Game Buffet, aka the highlight of Detroit's season.


"You're exactly right, Joe...these girls are sluts, no question about it."


So long, 2008 NFL Regular Season!

Part 2 of The Battle To See Which 8-8 Team Will Undeservingly Make The Playoffs

With Ed Hochuli over 2000 miles away in Green Bay overseeing the completion of the worst 16-game performance in NFL history, Chargers fans can put their screwjob conspiracy theories away and be thankful that they control their own destiny, despite being 4-8 a month ago.

The Chargers are 8 1/2 point favourites, which is somewhat terrifying; no team playing a critical game whilst coached by Norv Turner should be such a high fav.

Nevertheless, a win would mean vindication and justice served for a San Diego team that has had more bad breaks than Elijah Price.

Plus there's the potential added bonus of having an 8-8 Chargers team get in ahead of an 11-5 team, possibly the Patriots.

Nothing would be sweeter than seeing my Chargers in the playoffs with a .500 record, the Pats out - and hearing retahded Bahston fans whine that it's unfair. Fuck you, ya cheating chowdahheads.

Chargers! Broncos! Two teams that are lucky to even be in this position! Cockbag quarterbacks that you love anyway!

It's Sunday Night Football (thanks to flex scheduling) on NBC!

Cockbag of the Week: Pot Of Gold Excellence

Getting a box of Pot of Gold chocolates has been a Christmas tradition in the Suppa household for many years. Even after I moved out, I could always count on seeing the P.O.G sticking out of my stocking every Christmas.

But on the night of Christmas Eve, my cheatin' chocolate heart got the best of me.

My mother had received a box of Pot of Gold Excellence from one of her kindergarten students, and years of receiving such choco-based gifts has removed any and all of her interest in them. So I figured, she won't miss this box one bit, knowing full well that I had my very own box waiting for me upstairs.

I took the box downstairs, where I stayed up till the wee hours of Christmas morning eating from the tree of forbidden chocolate knowledge and watching the movie Gia.

A few hours later, our family sat around the tree to open presents, and sure enough, a brand new box of Pot of Gold Excellence was there in my stocking to greet me.

And that is when things went terribly wrong.

After my new tradition of taking a nap while the rest of the family goes to church, I awoke with a terrible case of the runs, which carried over through all of Christmas Day, rendering me unable to enjoy the night's meat-and-pasta-laden dinner.

Sure it could have been the half bag of BBQ Ruffles potato chips I was also eating with the chocolates, or the traditional Italian seven-fish Christmas Eve dinner, or the three bottles of Chinotto that accompanied said dinner.

But I know in my heart of hearts that it was the box of Pot of Gold Excellence, jealous that I had an affair with the other box, that did me in.

It's still sealed in my bedroom, and it will be many days before I can muster the courage to crack it open.

So a warning to my fellow Christmas-time chocoholics: never take on a choco-mistress, for your sins will be discovered, and hell hath no fury like a Pot of Gold scorned.

The Grinch Wears Pinstripes

Just in time for Christmas, the New York Yankees have dropped a lump of coal in the stockings of non-Yankee baseball fans everywhere.

*sniff sniff* Wait...that's not coal!

The New York Yankees now have the four largest contracts in Major League Baseball (A-Rod, Jeter, Sabathia, Teixeira).

The Teixeira deal came just a few hours after the Yankees were handed a $26.9 million luxury tax bill, which is almost exactly the entire payroll of the 2008 Florida Marlins.

Who says there's a recession?

Broncos Lose Two More Running Backs; In Other News, The Sun Came Up Today

The football gods are trying to tell Mike Shanahan something: quit fucking around with your running back depth chart.

The Broncos added Selvin Young and P.J. Pope to the already lengthy list of Denver backs on the IR, bringing the number to a whopping seven.

SEVEN injured running backs?!? That is beyond chance.

This is a clear message to Coach Shanahan that the fantasy world is sick and tired of him naming a different #1 RB every goddamn year, only to totally lose faith in him and end up promoting the 5th-string guy to the top spot by the end of training camp.

The guy goes through tailbacks like Hugh Hefner goes through blondes: several at a time.

Remember Olandis Gary? Quentin Griffin? Reuben Droughns? Shanny nearly went with Homer Simpson one year.

The last man standing in the backfield (for now) is underwear-stealer Tatum Bell; Denver has signed a couple of complete nobodies to back him up.

Sadly, the lack of a running game might actually help the Broncos this Sunday against the Chargers, who have a sorry excuse for a pass defense.

NFL Sunday Review in 10 Photos

I think we found the solution to the world's economic crisis: have the NFL run all year round, with a five beer minimum per spectator.


Cortland Finnegan knocking the yellow out of Hines Ward...wait, is that racist? Yeah, that's probably racist.


Hey, Marc Bulger...save the bondage sessions for after the game.


Incidentally, NOT what Herm Edwards was going for with the "We can build on this!!!" speech.


Most unnecessary question mark ever.


"Good luck with retirement, coach."

"Thanks Brett...you too..."

*eyes meet*

*smirk*

*both break out into uncontrollable laughter*

"So, see you next year?"

"Yeah, see ya next year."


Unbeknownst to Cards fans, Will Ferrell passed Matt Leinart on the depth chart back in Week 13.


The 2008 St. Louis Rams: Everyone's Bitch


"Ho ho HO, Raiderettes...you've been naughty AND nice!"


Looks like Ricky found a way to turn his helmet into a bong.

Mission Accomplished

See you next week, Cutlerfucker!

Part 1 of The Battle To See Which 8-8 Team Will Undeservingly Make The Playoffs

Some inspirational quotes ahead of the biggest game of the season for my San Diego Chargers:
"We've got to win or we can forget it." - Chargers QB Philip Rivers

"We have to win. They have to win, and somebody's going to win." - Bucs coach Jon Gruden



Wooooo! I am JACKED now.

Derrick Mason is a BEAST

Fantasy Hockey Tip For December: Get Flyers

Every so often in fantasy leagues you run across "the homer": the dude who picks everyone from his favourite team.

That dude usually gets laughed at, and usually with good reason. Regardless of how good you think your team is, having a ton of guys from that team is rarely a smart strategy.

Rarely...but not never. I encourage you to go out and grab any available Philadelphia Flyers you can get your hands on, because these guys are ri-goddamn-diculous right now.

Philly has 38 goals so far in the month of December, and have scored at least five goals in four of their last five games.

Obviously you won't find guys like Jeff Carter or Simon Gagne on the waiver wire, but your Scott Hartnells and Joffrey Lupuls of the world might still be out there. Both Hartnell and Lupul had four points in a 7-1 thumping of the Washington Capitals.

The Flyers also have nearly double the shorthanded goals of any team in the NHL, so if your league has that stat, you would do well to pick up or trade for a Flyer or two.

One of the dudes in my hockey league has achieved a Borat level of great success with the strategy: his Flyer-heavy lineup has catapulted him three spots in the standings this month.

Just pretend it's 1995 and that every Flyer is on the Legion of Doom line.

I'm not a mathematician...

...but let's see if we can work this equation out together:

Toronto Raptors (TOR) > Oklahoma City Thunder (OKC)

OKC = The worst team in the NBA

if OKC = 91 and TOR = 83,

then OKC > TOR,

and TOR = The worst team in the NBA

I dropped out of calculus in my senior year of high school, so I could be wrong here...but I think I've got it.

Cockbag of the Week: David Garrard

Everyone who's played fantasy football has that team (or that guy) who loves to do the exact opposite of what you want them (or him) to do. For me, that team is the Minnesota Vikings: every time I pick them to win, they lose, and vice-versa.

Every. Goddamn. Time.

David Garrard might not be on the Vikings, but I know that deep down he's a Purple People Eater.

Garrard was drafted as my #1 QB in both my leagues, but after maddeningly inconsistent outputs, the likes of Kyle Orton, Trent Edwards, and eventually Tyler Thigpen and Matt Ryan supplanted him for the stretch run. Despite his asshattery, I managed to reach the finals in both leagues.

And then a funny thing happened: Garrard decided to be awesome. #9 totalled 40 fantasy points whilst on my bench in the last two weeks.

Even worse, he vultured my boy Maurice Jones-Drew's goal-line touchdown on Thursday, with an agonizingly slow plunge into the end zone on 3rd and 2. His first rushing TD since Week 4, incidentally. My co-worker and I, both MoJo owners, cursed Garrard's ill-timed score.

If either Thigpen or Ryan shit the bed, the fantasy anchor known as David Garrard will have finally brought down the good ship Suppachargers.

I would suggest you die in a fire, DG, but it seems your never-ending supply of dude sweat would douse the flames.

So I'll have to take a page from one Les Grossman, tell you to take a step back (preferably out of the end zone) and literally FUCK YOUR OWN FACE.

It's been over two years...

...which is long enough to declare legally dead.

That might not actually be true; it might actually be from an Austin Powers movie.

The point is, Below The Mendoza Line is back.

The sports blog that was cool before sports blogs were cool (note: also not true) is back.

The return that no one asked for!

Below The Mendoza Line! Back! Sports!

Dog days of August

Well it's been a good run for the Blue Jays...there's a month and a half left in the season (oh baseball, you go by so fast!) and the Jays sit 7.5 back of the Damn Yankees and 8.5 behind the defending champion White Sox for the wild card.

They had a rough road trip a while back but have since played better...unfortunately it hasn't translated into gaining any ground.

Their one last realistic shot at making some noise comes the rest of this month, with 3 of 4 series against beatable teams (Tampa, Baltimore, Cleveland). If the Jays have any hope at all, they have to at least win those 3 series and ideally take two of three against Oakland.

I'm optimistic they'll do well, but not so optimistic that they'll move up very much in the standings...just too many good teams ahead of them.

Congrats to Roger Federer for winning the Rogers Cup over at York University, his 40th career victory and 17th straight finals appearance. The guy is just ridiculous...he has almost no competition, outside of Rafael Nadal, and that's only on clay.

The scary part is that he's only 25...he's already the best in recent memory, and he's on his way to etching his name with the likes of Sampras, Agassi, Lendl, Borg and the other male tennis greats.

And last but certainly not least, a big shoutout to my favourite player in the NFL, newly-retired Junior Seau. He was the most dominant linebacker of his day, going to twelve straight Pro Bowls...TWELVE. Most NFL players don't even play 12 seasons...this guy was at the top of his game every year.

He sparked my interest in NFL football and my subsequent love of the Chargers which still burns to this day, thanks to LaDainian Tomlinson and the hopes of a contending team for years to come.

And his retirement press conference wasn't the usual washed-up-football-star-gets-all-weepy affair.

"Listen, I win. I'm not going to cry. You know what? I won."

"Today is my graduation day. Retirement means that you'll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain't going to happen."

"Respect the game. Love the game. Stop pushing the game away, youth. Because you know what? The game is going to go anyway. The game's going to leave you anyway. So why not embrace it? I loved that game."

Words of wisdom from one of the game's best. Seau deserves to be in the Hall of Fame, and a broadcast career is definitely in his future. I wear the 55 on my back partly because of him...thanks Junior, you were great.

Forza Azzurri!!!

I still can't believe it.

Once again, it's all about justice and redemption.

We won despite another bullshit-of-all-bullshits penalty call in the early going (he didn't even touch that diving bastard)...justice.

Zidane's crossbar-bouncing penalty just barely went in, but Trezeguet's penalty didn't...justice.

Trezeguet not scoring...redemption for Euro 2000.

Italy winning in a penalty shootout for the first time since, well, ever...redemption.

As for Zidane's headbutt...well that was just shameful. Not the way you want to go out in the last game of your international career...certainly a blemish on his legacy.

And so closes a great tournament with the greatest possible outcome...doesn't get much better than that.

Two championships in my lifetime (I was like two months old in 82). I'll guess this means I'll be 48 for the next one.

At least this time I got to celebrate...walking and cheering amongst thousands of Italian supporters on College St and St Clair Ave...I'll never forget it.

Forza Italia...forza indeed.

Unbelievable!!!

The Azzurri are in the finals!

They soundly outplayed the Germans and deserved to win...it was a great game.

Next up France or Portugal...either revenge for 1998 and 2000, or the battle of St. Clair and College. Should be great either way.

Forza Italia!

Italy vs Germany

The final four...here we are.

I'm confident and yet pessimistic at the same time

Germany really hasn't had a tough game all tournament, and they really didn't see the best of Argentina, who foolishly sat back and tried to hold the lead instead of attacking.

And yet the home field advantage makes me think they'll make it to the finals for sure.

With all of the bad press surrounding Italian soccer between the scandal and some questionable plays/playcalling, can they really make it to the finals? If they do, one of two interesting scenarios await them.

Either France, who I'd love to beat to exact revenge for 1998 and 2000 (the amount of extra time added in the 2000 Euro final grows every year...we're up to 10 minutes now), or Portugal, who I'd love to beat to shut up the Portuguese fans and reclaim St. Clair Ave and College St as Italian territory.

The Azzurri have yet to concede an actual goal in the World Cup (the own goal against the US doesn't count), and they're more than capable of breaking down a suspect German defense.

Hopefully they will learn from seeing Argentina try and fail to play a shut-down style of game and bring the attack to Germany...if for no other reason than an exciting match.

Forza Italia...let's kick the farfennugen out of ze Germans!

Italy vs Ukraine

Worlds are colliding! It's on...this is the finals for our group of friends.

I'm predicting another 1-0 win for Italy, mostly because Ukraine will sit back like they did against the Swiss.

It'll be boring, and somewhat ugly (not as bad as some of the other games...I'm talking to you, Portugal) but a win is a win.

And oh yeah, for all the people who are bitching about the supposed no-call in the Australia game...it's called justice. Materazzi's red card was bullshit (it was no more than a yellow)...and Guus Hiddink had it coming after getting every friggin call in 2002 when he coached South Korea.

Plus if you look closely, the Aussie defender was definitely trying to impede Grosso. Just because he didn't slide tackle him doesn't mean he wasn't trying to trip him up. You might not like the timing, but it's a penalty...deal with it.

Forza Italia...let's make perogies out of the Ukraine!

Italy vs Australia

Well, Italy has already surpassed my World Cup expectations by winning their group and thus avoiding Brazil in the first round.

The Aussies will be a difficult team to play against, as they're quite aggressive and it seems the Italians have trouble playing non-European teams, ie. tying the US and the South Korea debacle four years ago. Those two teams have something in common: Australia's head coach Gus Hiddink coached the Koreans in 2002.

This troubles me slightly. However, Italy should prevail, meaning an Italy-Ukraine match is highly possible, provided the Ukies take care of the Swiss as well.

England beating Ecuador was no real surprise, however I was disappointed in the Dutch for not taking advantage of a shorthanded Portuguese squad. It was a dirty game and frankly both teams should be ashamed of their antics...it's given England a huge advantage, as Deco, Costinha and possibly Luis Figo will be unavailable for the match due to red cards/suspensions.

Germany/Argentina is going to be a classic, and Brazil/Spain or Brazil/France will also be a dandy. Ghana is a good team but I can't see them knocking off the Brazilians.

So far a very entertaining World Cup...Forza Italia, let's kick some Kangaroo ass!

The Carolina Hurricanes...2006 Stanley Cup Champions

Congrats to the Canes...they were the best team in the Eastern Conference for most of the season, made the best moves at the trade deadline (Doug Weight, Mark Recchi), and were the best team in the playoffs.

So many long-suffering veterans finally get to hoist the Cup: Weight, Glen Wesley, Ray Whitney, and the most deserving of all, Rod Brind'Amour, the definition of a class act.

I will wear my Hurricanes jersey with pride (whenever the hell it decides to show up).

Kudos to the Oilers for coming back when everyone counted them out...but they just couldn't complete the comeback. I will say that even though they're a Canadian team and I'm supposed to root for them, they knocked out my pick in the West (San Jose), so frankly, I ain't cryin for em. Plus I just can't fully get behind a team with Mike Peca on it...I hate that guy.

And so the book closes on another season of NHL hockey...let's hope they can build on this successful year and learn from the mistakes of the lockout and the boring pre-lockout style of play.

Until then...let's go Blue Jays.

Uh oh...the Oilers are in trouble.

After blowing a three-goal lead and losing Dwayne Roloson for the rest of the series, the Oilers look to be...oh what's the expression...fucked.

Here's another expression: sometimes it's better to be lucky to be good, and the Hurricanes have certainly been lucky. After beating maybe the best goalie in the league in Martin Brodeur, they took advantage of major injuries on Montreal and Buffalo (Saku Koivu, Tim Connolly and pretty much all of the Sabres' top defensemen) to move on. But let's not go so far to say it was a fluke: I recall everyone picking Carolina as the favourites to go all the way post-trade deadline, when thy picked up Mark Recchi and Doug Weight. This is a stacked offensive team, and they've beat three straight hot goalies. I'll be proud to wear their colours, and willing to withstand the boos, rotten fruit and office equipment thrown my way at work.

As for Dwayne Roloson, well...while I don't wish injury on anyone, he might have had this coming. He's been flopping around, diving and drawing penalties pretty much all postseason. Some would call them the actions of a wily veteran. I call it cheating. Perhaps Roloson will curl up with an old favourite whilst on the shelf: Peter and the Wolf. When I saw him sprawled on the ice, I wasn't immediately convinced he was legitimately hurt, and that speaks volumes about his character.

So it appears the Oilers magical run is over. They upset two Cup favourites in Detroit and San Jose, and got by another Cinderella team in the Ducks, but it looks like the Canes will be too much, especially now that they're forced to go with Conklin or Markannen (comically dubbed Conkkanen by Oilers fans). They'll be back, though...they've got a great mix of youth and veterans, and will learn a lot from this experience as a group.

In other possibly more important news, the World Cup starts this week, and is about the only thing that can push the Stanley Cup Finals to the background...(if the Jays make the World Series, then we'll talk).

The four-year buildup is over...and while many things have changed, one has stayed the same: Brazil is the clear favourite. They are just a ridiculously talented squad, and even the most blind fan of any other team has to acknowledge the Brazilians as the team to beat.

I'd like to say Italy has a chance...but frankly it'll be difficult enough for the Azzurri to get out of the group stage...and once there, Brazil likely awaits them, unless they can edge out the Czechs for first in Group E, which again is no easy task. I have the Czechs making it all the way to the finals to face Brazil (and losing).

An unlikely (but pretty cool) scenario would have the Italians finishing first and defeating Croatia in the round of 16, setting up a match versus Ukraine, pitting myself and all my Italian friends against the one Ukrainian in our group. Needless to say, serious smack-talk and various Seinfeld references will be flung around like so many pizzas and perogies.

Realistically though, Italy is out in the first knockout stage. I'm picking Holland and Mexico to join Brazil and the Czechs in the final four. As for upsets, look out for the Ivory Coast, the strongest African team in the tournament.

"The Beautiful Game" brings the world together like no other event, even the Olympics. So enjoy the World Cup, whoever you happen to be cheering for.

Imagine being in line for a beer at a ballgame...

And a retirement plan literally falls into your hand.

38-year-old Andrew Morbitzer, a San Francisco native, is the proud owner of Barry Bonds' 715th home run ball.

He caught it with one hand, after it dropped off the roof and into the concession area.

Luckiest. Bastard. Ever. If it were me, I'd sell it and allow the good times to subsequently roll...life is too short for working and that bullshit.

As for Bonds, the record means nothing to me on any level. He still cheated, he's still a jerk, and he's still second. He's 40 away from Hank Aaron, and at his current rate, he ain't gonna do it.

And frankly, I'm glad: Hank Aaron is all class. Remove the first two letters from class, and you have Barry Bonds.

Of course, congrats to the Oilers...first Cup final since 1990...and even though my Carolina Hurricanes jersey is due to arrive for the Stanley Cup, I'm backing the Oil.

Going to the Jays game after work to catch Doc Halladay & Co take on the Red Sox...after taking two of three from the defending champion White Sox and still 5 games over .500 without 3/5 of their starting rotation, they're still in good shape I think.

So go Jays, go Oilers, and um, go catching a money ball while in line for a beer.

Anaheim, Buffalo, Carolina, Edmonton

Your final four in the new NHL...yep, it's new alright.

I was 3 for 4 on my predictions...and I'm happy to do the Canadian thing and support Edmonton.

I'm going with Edmonton and Buffalo in the finals...

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm hunting for red Sabres, red Hurricanes and the alternate Oilers jerseys (black Sharks too, if I can find em).

A little basketball comment

There's been quite the debate over Steve Nash being named MVP for a second straight year, ahead of Kobe Bryant and Lebron James.

Tonight in Game 7 of the Phoenix-LA series, Nash showed why he at least deserves the honour over Kobe.

He played into the fourth quarter on a sprained ankle, completing a 4% probability comeback in Game 7.

As for Kobe? He took a grand total of three shots in the second half, in a game that was a blowout from the get go.

Advantage: Nash. Kobe is a punk.

First round of the playoffs = over.

The first round is always unpredictable, but this is ridiculous: the top 4 seeds make it through in the East, while the top 4 seeds in the West are eliminated. No one could have drawn up that scenario.

The biggest shock for me was Calgary losing to Anaheim...nothing against the Ducks, but the Flames looked good even after stretching the series to 7 games. With the other top seeds out, the Flames had a golden opportunity and squandered it.

Here's a quick look at each series, complete with predictions from yours truly:

Ottawa vs. Buffalo - This will be far and away the most exciting second round matchup. Both teams can score in bunches and are fun to watch. I really, really want to pick the Sabres in this one, but the Senators are...oh what the hell, I'm picking the Sabres. In six. I must be nuts.

Carolina vs. New Jersey - In previous years, this matchup would have been a snoozer. But both the Canes and Devils have pretty good offenses. I like the Canes a lot, but Jersey is just too hot to go against, especially with Brodeur in net. Carolina can gain the advantage in this series by winning Game 1, just to break the Devils' ridiculous winning streak and to cast a shadow of doubt. If they drop the first two again like they did in Montreal, there won't be another comeback. So either the Canes in six, or the Devils in five. Everything hinges on the first two games.

Edmonton vs. San Jose - I must say, I am impressed with the Oilers. I didn't expect them to even challenge Detroit, who decided to revert to their usual we-absolutely-suck-in-the-playoffs form. I thought that schtick would be over with Babcock behind the bench, but evidently not. Of course I had three Red Wings in my office hockey pool, which pretty much ends my chances already. So I'm both bitter and grudgingly impressed at the same time. All this being said, the Sharks are my favourite team in the Western Conference, and I think they take this series. This team was scary even while they were floundering in 10th and 11th a few months back. I remember looking at the standings and at the team's recent record and thought: How are these guys not in the playoffs yet? What do they have to do? They kept up their torrid pace and finished 5th, to which I thought: That's better. San Jose has three huge performers in Thornton, Cheechoo and Marleau, and Edmonton won't be able to stop all three of them. Sharks in six.

Anaheim vs. Colorado - Two teams I didn't even think would make the playoffs are suddenly facing each other in the second round. Give credit to Anaheim for outdefending the best defensive team in the league in Calgary. The Avs meanwhile laid a whupping on Dallas, who looked listless and uninspired the whole series. I had no feelings for the Stars coming into the postseason, and I'm glad I don't have to waste time creating any. I'm gonna give this series to the Ducks, solely on the fact that they already beat a team vastly superior to Colorado in the first round. Six games oughta do it.

Early Stanley Cup matchup: San Jose vs. Buffalo. I would watch every minute of those finals.

One final playoff thought: take a look at the starting 8 goalies in the second round...there's one big name in the bunch, and that's Marty Brodeur. Theodore is a borderline big name, and then you've got Ray Emery, Ryan Miller, Cam Ward, Dwayne Roloson, Vesa Toskala, and Ilya Brzygalov. Every single one of these guys was an afterthought going into the season, except maybe Miller, who got hurt at the beginning anyway. In my fantasy hockey leagues I seriously devalued all but a handful of goalies, because nobody knew what the scoring was going to be like, or which goalies would adjust to the new rules and equipment. I figured a bunch of no-namers would come to the forefront, and unfortunately it took until the playoffs for that notion to be correct.

Oh well...second round, here we come.